Scoliosis, Chronic Pain, and Mental Health

For this blog post, I wanted to discuss something that I find isn't often talked about with Scoliosis: chronic pain and mental health.

Similar to a variety of other medical conditions (and depending on the severity), Scoliosis can have different impacts on an individual's mental health. Chronic pain can be experienced by different people in different ways. There's also a lot of complexities to being in pain other than the physical feeling itself. For example, feeling misunderstood (especially if your pain isn't obvious to others), feeling isolated, or even how you feel about yourself is all factored into how an individual copes with chronic pain.

I went through chronic pain for about seven years, with the pain gradually increasing every year or so. Other than the physical pain being bothersome, it was also a weird experience to have your brain basically try to numb how your body felt in order to do 'normal' daily activities. On top of that, I often felt very misunderstood. I felt as though a lotto my friends didn't fully understand what I was going through... Unfortunately, a lot of people don't fully understand what chronic pain is, or how much of an impact it can have on one's mental wellbeing. I remember feeling very misunderstood - almost as if my pain wasn't being taken seriously by others (excluding my medical team and family), as I had people tell me "oh it can't be that bad," or "you don't look like you're in pain". In my opinion, chronic pain and physical pain in general (such as post-surgery pain) is very individual and hard for people to understand unless they've gone through it themselves or have witnessed a loved one going through it first-hand. Pain is also often stigmatized and can lead to people either dismissing it altogether, questioning the severity and the person's abilities, or choosing to ignore it.

Although I was fortunate enough to have my surgery the summer before last, I still felt very socially isolated as I couldn't really go out with friends, and I didn't feel comfortable going downtown or out for dinner since I didn't feel 100% like myself again until about four or five months into recovery. I was also very tired (probably overtired) from the troubles caused by pain medications, laying on my back and sleeping was uncomfortable, and I felt somewhat useless not being able to do daily tasks by myself for the first little while. Even when I would feel totally fine and free from my chronic pain after surgery (once the post-surgery pain subsided), sometimes I would wake up with a sore back or tweak something which would bring me back to a worse place mental health wise and physical health wise. Even though I experienced chronic pain and am lucky enough to not be in it anymore, I find myself having the fear of being in chronic pain again one day - especially if I have an injury or my back muscles hurt.

To anyone reading this who is going through or has gone through something similar, you are not alone. Rehabilitation can be frustrating, being in pain can be frustrating, and feeling misunderstood or like you are not taken seriously is probably the most frustrating of them all. Surgery brings up a lot of feelings and depending on changes after surgery (such as visible physical differences, amounts of vertebrae fused that alters motion, etc) it could also impact someone's body image and how they think about themselves. It's basically a huge whirlwind of emotion.

Post-Surgery Pain During Physio

Some days post-surgery I felt lonely, others I felt self-conscious, others I felt great, and the next day I could feel very down. From my experience, recovering from a surgery can often feel like 'one step forward, two steps back'. If you're struggling with the whirlwind of emotions or are feeling more down in general, anxious, or any other feelings, I encourage you to bring them up with your surgeon or doctor when you go in for check-ups. Especially now when there's also a pandemic to deal with and now that we're starting to 'go back' to a form of 'normal,' it can be overwhelming dealing with chronic pain, acute pain, or anything else on top of a pandemic.

It's important to remember that progress isn't a straight line up - instead, it has peaks and valleys along the way. My messages are always open if anyone wants to chat.

Here is a link to Canadian mental health resources and supports:

https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html

This blog is my own personal experience and journey with Scoliosis. It is not a medical blog, and if anyone has concerns about their own health, they should see a physician.